I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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