It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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