His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Randomize
