I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
