I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
You may now shotgun with the bride
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Randomize
