my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Randomize