im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
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