how can u be prego again
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Randomize
