I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
