How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Why did my mother make you get naked?
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