It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
