The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Randomize
