ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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