Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Randomize
