I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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