Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
Randomize
