When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
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