I like my sex mixed with concussions.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
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