i just had sex bonerless
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
