Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
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