You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
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