i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Randomize
