I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
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