is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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