just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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