'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
