PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
I pour the whiskey from now on
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
