Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Randomize
