im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Randomize
