I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
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