I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
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