BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
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