their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Randomize
