This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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