you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
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I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
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He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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