Already got asked if we're dating
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Randomize
