I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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