all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Randomize
