New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Randomize
