so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
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