im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize