If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
