i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
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