goodnight i made you a song goodbye
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
