about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Randomize
