Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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