im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Randomize
