is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
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