Texts From Last Night

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  (859): View more from Kentucky

  Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.

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  (859): Your vagina is a self cleaning oven. http://tfl.nu/z5bn
  Replies (11) Good night (907) Bad night (456) Order T-Shirt
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  (206): View more from Washington

  Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.

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  (206): Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is. http://tfl.nu/56s9
  Replies (83) Good night (9314) Bad night (964) Order T-Shirt
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.

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  (703): Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick. http://tfl.nu/xski
  Replies (15) Good night (456) Bad night (3440) Order T-Shirt
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  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars

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  (608): so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars http://tfl.nu/jmti
  Replies (13) Good night (4665) Bad night (405) Order T-Shirt
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  (604): View more from British Columbia

  People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky

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  (604): People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky http://tfl.nu/clbn
  Replies (90) Good night (7887) Bad night (1106)
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  (207): View more from Maine

  Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.

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  (207): Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us. http://tfl.nu/mqg9
  Replies (2) Good night (4075) Bad night (938) Order T-Shirt
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  (541): View more from Oregon

  Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding

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  (541): Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding http://tfl.nu/9api
  Replies (3) Good night (530) Bad night (1321)
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  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night

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  (781): There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night http://tfl.nu/6b77
  Replies (7) Good night (660) Bad night (1324) Order T-Shirt
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  (516): View more from New York

  I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book

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  (516): I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book http://tfl.nu/reox
  Replies (5) Good night (2125) Bad night (527) Order T-Shirt
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  (701): View more from North Dakota

  Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.

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  (701): Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect. http://tfl.nu/4n2p
  Replies (2) Good night (467) Bad night (795) Order T-Shirt
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  (602): View more from Arizona

  I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am

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  (602): I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am http://tfl.nu/mg4n
  Replies (4) Good night (526) Bad night (881) Order T-Shirt
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.

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  (203): Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic. http://tfl.nu/uabe
  Replies (2) Good night (1016) Bad night (535) Order T-Shirt
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.

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  (919): Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka. http://tfl.nu/j4b1
  Replies (4) Good night (497) Bad night (598) Order T-Shirt
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  (415): View more from California

  I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.

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  (415): I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing. http://tfl.nu/pa54
  Replies (4) Good night (447) Bad night (209) Order T-Shirt
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  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school

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  (414): i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school http://tfl.nu/pd3u
  Replies (3) Good night (637) Bad night (119) Order T-Shirt

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