ADVERTISEMENT

• (409): View more from Texas

  so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes

  Fav 5 1083 1170

  share tweet
  

• (978): View more from Massachusetts

  There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you

  Fav 10 4796 748

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (607): View more from New York

  Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..

  Fav 91 5233 1159

  share tweet
  

• (715): View more from Wisconsin

  and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...

  Fav 26 2548 3624

  share tweet
  
• 

  Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (614): View more from Ohio

  woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.

  Fav 6 3430 1245

  share tweet
  

• (248): View more from Michigan

  I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh

  Fav 10 1524 3797

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (407): View more from Florida

  Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.

  Fav 4 2053 801

  share tweet
  

• (770): View more from Georgia

  If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?

  (910): View more from North Carolina

  That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?

  (770): View more from Georgia

  Touche.

  (910): View more from North Carolina

  I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.

  Fav 6 4316 1226

  share tweet
  

• (910): View more from North Carolina

  I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks

  Fav 4 813 1661

  share tweet
  
• 

  21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (410): View more from Maryland

  You threw up with your ski mask on still.

  Fav 8 799 2497

  share tweet
  

• (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.

  Fav 3 2100 836

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (239): View more from Florida

  How drunk do you guys plan on getting?

  (1-239): View more from Florida

  We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?

  Fav 7 1321 574

  share tweet
  

• (740): View more from Ohio

  Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.

  Fav 4 1028 534

  share tweet
  

• (303): View more from Colorado

  She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.

  Fav 2 957 516

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (513): View more from Ohio

  Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?

  Fav 2 230 252

  share tweet
  

Randomize