just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
Dating After Heartbreak
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
These Images Prove Chrissy Teigen is the Funniest Model Alive
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.