I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
21 Porn Stars Confess What Sex Is Really Like On Set
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
19 People That Found Pubes In All The Wrong Places
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.