Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
