I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Randomize
