well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
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