But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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