you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Randomize
