I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
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