try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Randomize
