woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
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Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
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There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
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