NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
